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The Dirty Girls Action Plan For Lice

I can’t say it enough. Lice sucks. And for some reason the same kid has had it twice in her life and yet the other 3 kids (knock on wood) haven’t been affected. Lucky her. The first time we had lice in the house I wanted to move out and call that company that comes and covers the entire house with a plastic dome to spray out every room. We put stuffed animals in bags outside for weeks. We all but boiled every single fabric she may have come into contact with. And if I thought she wouldn’t be totally traumatized by it, I would have shaved her head. But just like everything in life, the second time you experience something, you have just that, experience. I know what to expect and I know how to fix it. No plastic domes needed.

 

lice bites

 

Here is the Dirty Girls action plan for lice:

1) Scratch your own head (just the word lice makes people itchy) and then shudder with disgust because it’s freaking gross. You’re allowed. Resist the urge to burn your house down, it will be ok.

2) Check everyone else in the house! Including yourself. They like the warm spots on your head like the nape of the neck and behind the ears. Lawd help you if you have more than one kid infested, it’s gonna be a long night.

3) Start laundry. Everything that the infected child has played with, cuddled, slept on or worn. Wash in hot water and dry on hot setting for at least 1 hour to kill any critters. As if you needed more laundry to do, right? Things that can’t be washed should be sealed in a plastic bag for 7 days. Have the child sleep elsewhere (like a hotel?) for 48 hours to let any bugs on the mattress die. Lice can’t live longer than 24 hours without a live human host.

4) Buy lice treatment from the pharmacy. In fact buy a couple because it never hurts to give everyone a treatment just in case. Wait, maybe buy a few more just to keep on hand in a lice emergency…it could happen. I said I was experienced, I never said I wasn’t over cautious.

5) Buy a lice comb but get the good one. I got the LiceMeister metal comb and wow what a difference. Using the metal comb saved me hours of picking nits compared to the first time. The comb that comes in the box with the medicine is not as good and is plastic. Splurge on the $20 metal one.

6) Set up your treatment area with 2 non-fabric covered chairs, towels, water bottles (stay hydrated) or wine (stay hydrated) and a device to watch Netflix because sorry, it’s still gonna be a long night!

7) Put on your favourite funny movie and try to make the most out of the fact that the next several hours are going to be painful for both you and your back and the child and their head. At least you can laugh at a funny movie while you’re at it. We watched The Croods and Despicable Me, if that gives you any reference to how long the process takes. Ugh.

 

Despicable Me poster

 

8) Ponytail detail. Lucky me, I have 4 daughters and as everyone knows, longer hair is more susceptible to catching lice so for the next 3 months, it’s ponytails for everyone! We don’t want anymore lice here!

9) Don’t forget to follow up with another medical treatment of lice stuff 7-10 days after to make sure you got em all. This ensures that if you missed even one egg and it happened to hatch, you’ll kill that bastard before it can lay more eggs. Grossed out yet?

10) Pray you got all the little buggers.

 

So, 22! That’s how many times I’ve itched my head while writing this post. How many times have you itched just reading it?

Lice sucks.

Comments

  1. Erica G says:

    Yes. To all of it. Unfortunately when my daughter (long, blonde hair) had lice three years ago (seems like yesterday) we didn’t have iPads or Netflix. But, yep, it was about the equivalent of two movies-worth of time spent in the bathroom that first night, nitpicking, with my finger nails. The LiceMeister came the next day because the COMB IN THE BOX SUCKS! This, too, shall pass…
    Erica G recently posted..My Christmas OCDMy Profile

  2. Three. Now go away.
    Kyla@Mommy’s Weird recently posted..Career First or Kids First….My Profile

  3. Jane Grant says:

    i laughed out loud reading this. Full of humour, but also great info. It is very calming for anyone embroiled in such a disturbing mess as lice infestation

  4. Aneta Alaei says:

    Honestly, I would shave my hair if this happened along with the whole families. It is okay to be bald

  5. Mary says:

    Ur hilarious chica. We went through the lice biz recently in my community and It makes u squirm even thinking about it for sure!!! U have to be diligent big time. It was controlled pretty quickly but luckily we became aware of it asap or who knows? Brutal but nice to read about it in ur charming funny tone sister. Much love and I will see u on Periscope! Still figuring it out but Stoked!

  6. SamJoe says:

    I do not like the topic of this post, but I do like this post.

    Braids worn to school and lavender or tea tree oil dabbed behind the ears or back of neck. Apparently lice do not like those smells.
    *itch scratch*
    SamJoe recently posted..Get Your Essentials Covered with Esurance & A Road-Trip GiveawayMy Profile

    • TheDirtyGirl says:

      I know right!? I get itchy just thinking about it. We put the kids in pony tails for ever after this.

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